"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." - Ephesians 4:32
I have a tendency to want to hold a grudge. I also have a bit of a temper. I like to blame it on our Scottish roots and my red hair. Regardless, it's a habit and issue I work daily to break. Basically, what I'm saying is this: I'm flawed. I mess up. Often. And Heaven knows God has forgiven me countless times, and I definitely don't deserve the grace and mercy He's shown to me. So, after having that level of compassion shown to me regardless of how much I broke God's heart, how could I not extend that same love, grace, mercy and forgiveness to the ones who hurt me?
Recently, someone close to me hurt me pretty badly with some choice actions and words. I really don't believe they meant it, but that doesn't lessen the pain. And honestly? I didn't handle it as well as I could have and should have. My first instinct and reaction was anger. Then came resentment. Then the hurt that felt like someone tore a chunk of my heart out. Then to my least favorite, bitterness. Oh, and there was an abundance of tears. I couldn't remember a time I had been cut that deep. That night, I went to bed crying out to God. I desperately pleaded for a change of heart, and to see the one who hurt me as God sees them, through a lens of love, compassion, and grace. I begged for the ability to forgive because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. Then, it came as quite the shock to me, I felt led to pray FOR the one who caused me pain. Pray good things for them! Well, that went against every instinct I had. But that's how I knew God was in it, because it was contrary to the fleshly reactions I have. So I prayed. I bared my whole vulnerable heart to the Lord, and prayed for the person I least wanted to bless. I asked that they would know God and His love, and that His love would reach them right where they were, and that He'd heal the heart and spirit that was hurt enough to need to cause my heart pain too.It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. But it was the only way I could get past the resentment, hurt, anger, and bitterness. Forgiveness is what is stronger than all those other feelings combined. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, to be honest. But we are told to forgive 7 times 70 times.
So, friend, is there a hurt you're holding on to? A bitterness or resentment that's weighing you down? I don't know the kind of hurt you have, and I am not trying to diminish it in any way. I don't know what has been said or done to you. But I do know that God is good to meet you where you are and change your heart. How do I know? He changed the hardest heart I know... mine. So I'm asking you to pray for the offender. Just lift them up to the Lord. Forgiveness is difficult, not impossible. Start with a prayer, and go from there. It's time to heal YOUR broken heart in a powerful way. You are worth it. You can do this. God is right there with you every step of the way. I'm living proof of that. <3
PS. This song really touched me and helped me. I hope it can help you, too. Xoxo
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WLPKY7NX
