Great is Thy Faithfulness: 2014 in Review

Hey, y'all! Hope you had a most joyous and blessed Christmas! :) It has been a whirlwind season for me! 2014 has been a crazy year. I won't bore you with the details of everything from this year. I just wanted to share some lessons I learned this year with you! Here we go:

• There's Beauty in Everything: This year has been simultaneously the best and worst year of my life, to be honest. The best in the aspect of my spiritual life. Worst in terms of it being an emotional roller coaster. With the loss of my grandfather, I felt so helpless. I was a mess. Like for real, if you saw me at all during that time, you know I reached a low point. But God was there to be my safe place, comforter, refuge, restorer of my weary heart, and the one to put my broken heart back together. I got to know God in a way I never had before. I had to completely rely on Him and hold nothing back, and He loved me so fiercely in a way I never deserved. He revealed a glimpse of His heart and undying and unfathomable love to me. He made beauty out of the ashes of my heart. 
• FOCUS: In the storms of life, you can focus on your problem, your fears, your anxieties, your flaws, or God. He is bigger than anything life throws at you, my friend. He is bigger than any fear or worry. Reset your sight on what matters most.
• I don't need to have control: I'm a planner. It's just what I do. If I'm stressed, I make lists. I like to know exactly what's gonna happen. The events of this year taught me that isn't the way to live. In reality, I can't plan for life. I can't know what's gonna happen. My life isn't gonna be tied up in a pretty bow. Life is gonna be messy. Life is gonna be chaotic. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna be incredible and wonderful. My life is not in my hands. It is in God's hands. He knows what will happen tomorrow, next week, next year. He knows every single detail about my life. All I need to do is trust that He has control, because I sure don't. 
• I am not alone: God's faithfulness is beyond words. Not for a second has He left me on my own, even when it feels like it. He has worked everything for good in my life this year, and He will continue to do so. He will never leave me nor forsake me, and I don't have to fear. He knows my heart like no other, and regardless of what I do, He will stay with me. He keeps His promises to me. 

I hope and pray great things for all of you in this coming year. Thank you so so so much for going on this journey with me. See y'all in 2015!

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint." -Isaiah 40:31

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9

Fix My Eyes Upon You

My life has been kind of a whirlwind lately. Between writing final essays, staying up cramming for finals, going to work, prepping for Christmas, unexpected bumps in the road, and fulfilling commitments, I feel stretched pretty thin.. You could say I'm a little stressed. Maybe overwhelmed is a better word.

I've let my priorities get all jumbled up. I find myself juggling more and more the closer it gets to Christmas. And that's just ridiculous.

The best way I can say it is that I feel like Peter on the ocean. At first my focus was all on Jesus. And slowly, my stress, doubts, fears, worries, and obligations started to pile up. And I fixed my eyes and mind on that instead of Jesus. And just like that, I started sinking. I just kept sinking as more worries and things piled up in front of me. I was letting temporary issues have too much control over me and become an anchor tied to my feet while I was trying to stay afloat. Honestly, I really don't like the feeling I have and the person I am when my focus isn't centered on Christ.

So I'm adjusting my gaze. Because Jesus is greater. He is bigger than my insecurities, worries, stressors, doubts, anxieties, conflicts and confusions. He is the only thing that is eternal, and the thing that matters most. He is my life source. I'm drained without Him.And I don't want to be a drained out, stretched thin, shadow of who I am meant to be. In fact, I refuse to be that anymore. It's time to get  back to balance.

 It's so easy to focus on the buildup to Christmas that we forget to meditate on the miracle of Christ. So, enjoy the season, enjoy the festivities, enjoy the baking, shopping and wrapping. Enjoy family and friends and the joy the time of year brings. Sing those Christmas carols loud. Snuggle up with a blanket and some hot chocolate and watch some Christmas movies.  But don't forget to keep your eyes fixed on the King of Kings and the reason for the season.

Unanswered Prayers

I'm a big country music fan. I grew up on a ranch with George Strait as the soundtrack. If you are ever in the car with me, there's a pretty good chance we will be listening to country radio. If there's a country concert in town, it's a safe bet I'll be there. One of my all time favorite artists is Garth Brooks. I've been singing (and occasionally mishearing lyrics to) his music for as long as I can remember. One of his songs is "Unanswered Prayers". Garth, I love the sentiment of the song, but you are way off.

There's NO SUCH THING as unanswered prayers. That would imply that A) God doesn't hear our prayers, B) He ignores our prayers, or C) He simply doesn't care.

Let me assure you, God hears EVERY SINGLE prayer you've ever prayed, He NEVER ignores you, and He DEFINITELY cares.

So often if God doesn't give us the answer we want, we just say the prayer went unanswered. Guys, God isn't your genie. He isn't a wish-granter, or a Magic 8 Ball, or anything of the sort. He is the sovereign Lord of the Universe who has a plan or a calling on your life. He intimately knows your heart, your needs, your wants, and your deepest desires. He loves you way too much to give you something that isn't right for you, or isn't what you need.

When He answers our prayers, sometimes the answer is "Yes". Sometimes it's "No". Sometimes it's "Wait a little longer". Sometimes it's "I've got something even better for you". But He is ALWAYS making it all work together for our good.

Girl Talk

I love spending time with young ladies, be it at church, work, tutoring, etc. They are so special to me. But my heart breaks for them. It breaks for the current generation of girls. There's so much pressure, so many mixed signals, so much confusion. So, I write this to all the beautiful young women who may come across my blog. To my nieces. To my students. These are the things I want you to know.

1. You're a Treasure
  You were made so special, handcrafted by the maker of the heavens and Earth. He took so much time on you. You are His masterpiece, His beloved, His work of art. And nothing can ever change that. I wish you could see yourself how I see you, and more importantly, see yourself through God's eyes. Because you are a sight to behold. You are a gem. You are so sacred, so precious, so priceless. And you always will be. Please never forget that. And please never let anyone tell you otherwise.

2. You're Beautiful
   It's true. You are truly a beauty! It doesn't matter how your hair looks, what clothes you wear, how many freckles you have, how big your feet are, if you have a few pimples. You are a one-of-a-kind, unique and have your own special and captivating beauty. You were made to shine. So rock your look, have confidence. You are spectacular.

3. True Beauty
   Can I let you in on a secret? Make up doesn't make you beautiful. I know you have heard the "beauty comes from within" bit. I know it sounds cliche. You know what else I know? It's totally true. Your beauty stems from  your character and who you really are. Good looks will fade, but a good heart will last.

4. Relationships
  Boys are a fun mystery. Talking to guys can be fun. Friendship with guys is fun. Relationships with guys can be fun. But, never let that come before your relationship with God. That relationship is the foundation of your life. If it's weak, everything else will start to crumble too.

5. Don't Compare Yourself
  People are like snowflakes. No two are the same. We are all made special and for a purpose. We aren't gonna all be good at the same thing. We aren't all gonna look the same. We aren't gonna act the same. And that's awesome! Instead of comparing yourself to others or wishing you looked like her, or had her hair, or her clothes, or anything like that, find out who YOU are. Put your energy in to finding your talents and your purpose. That's what will matter in the long run. Be content with what you have, and embrace who you are, darling. Love yourself, flaws and all.

6. Don't Be a Mean Girl
  Bullying has become an epidemic in our society. But you don't have to be part of that. The best thing we can do as girls is build each other up and make each other feel good. We are all facing the same struggles, and tearing someone down or bullying them doesn't make you better. Support each other, encourage each other, and be kind! It will go a long way. How you treat others says a lot about who you are.

7. Have Faith
 You're gonna have bad days. There's gonna be bumps in the road. And that's okay. I promise you, it isn't the end of the world. So, sweetheart, don't sweat the small stuff. It's not gonna matter in the long run. Have faith in yourself and faith in God. Keep your chin up. We're in this together :)

It's Not About Me

I have a confession to make... I have a tendency to be a selfish person. I think about myself more than I should. I put myself higher on my priority list than is necessary. I can kind of have a princess attitude sometimes. I'm not proud of it. Is it because of my age? Human nature? The world we live in? I don't know. And, honestly, it doesn't matter. They are all just excuses. What I do know? It's not about me. It never has been, never will be. And that's okay.

This life? Not mine. I was a prisoner,held down by the chains of sin, ransomed at such a high price. The King of All gave His life to save mine. The least I can do is live it for Him. Our lives are far too precious to be wasted on things that are solely for our benefit. Jesus came to serve, not be served. We need to have that same approach. I am not shining God's light and showing His love if I'm constantly preoccupied with me and my wants and being served. We are to take care of others, and love our neighbors as ourselves. Not to love others almost as much as ourselves, or take care of them when we have time. God didn't put qualifiers or stipulations on reaching out and loving people. He didn't say to do it when I feel like it. He didn't say to love people who love me, or help people who help me. He made it pretty clear what we are supposed to do. So let's go do it. And do it JOYFULLY.

Confession number two: I can be a Grumpy Gus more than I like to admit. It's so easy to have a bad attitude. It's easy to fall into the pit of attitude issues. And it's hard to get out. I get that. However, us being negative isn't gonna win anyone over or bless anyone.  We have been given such an awesome opportunity. We have the chance to bring a little bit of the Kingdom down on Earth through serving and loving and actions and words. It's such a privilege! Why not take advantage of it and enjoy it and give it our everything. And the reward is so great. God blesses our obedience and love, and plus, the joy that will fill you up is amazing.

I'm not saying to neglect yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, nobody else will. What I am saying is we should never pass up an opportunity to love someone else.

Grace Amazing

"You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same. You are amazing, God!"- Indescribable, Chris Tomlin


I've heard things like "grace is overrated". I beg to differ. We shouldn't stake our faith on grace, of course. Our faith is rooted in Christ Jesus, who made it possible. But grace is powered by His unending and abundant love.

Just think about it. Everything you've ever done, everything you've wanted to do, every thought you've ever had, everything you've ever said. EVERYTHING. All of you. Even the darkest parts. The things that haunt you. The things you are ashamed of. Your entire past. All of it. Everything. Every single thing. (I don't know about you, but those aren't things I'd like to relive or see again). God knows all of it. He's seen all of it. I'm sure I've broken His heart too many times to count. If we are being completely honest, I'm guessing you have too.

If you're like me, you probably deserve a lot of punishment and negative consequences for things you've done. But Christ took those for me. His love and grace and mercy took on all of me and my flaws and inadequacies.

God STILL loves us so incredibly much! Imagine the deepest love you can fathom. Now multiply it by a billion. That barely scratches the surface of God's love.

There is absolutely NOTHING we could do that would make His love disappear. Nothing that could outdo His grace. He sees it all. He knows it all. And it doesn't faze Him at all.

I can't even put into words how crazy that is to me. After everything, even the things I have a hard time forgiving myself for, He hasn't left me or given up on me. He sees the good, the bad, and the ugly of me, and embraces all of it with open arms. His grace covers me and nothing could ever change that.

And that, my friends, is what makes grace so utterly amazing.

Ephesians 2:8-9

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Childlike Wonder

If you know me at all, you know that I absolutely love kids. They're one of my favorite things in the world. At least four out of seven days a week, I'm spending time with kids. They just blow me away. They say the funniest things, the sweetest things, and let's be honest, some of the weirdest things you'll ever hear. Out of the mouths of babes, right? :)

But the thing I love the most about kids is their awe and wonder for the world and for life. I think we could use a ton more of that. Kids get so excited about the smallest things, and don't take the beauty of this world for granted. They celebrate every victory, and rebound from every failure or mistake. They don't have to carry the weight of the world. They really know how to have fun, and find something fun out of every circumstance. Imagine if we did that in our own lives.

I'm not by any means saying we should go overboard with this. Life will still throw curve balls, we will still have stress, we will have bad days, we will be in a rush and not notice life's goodness all the time, we will take things for granted. Failure will hit us in the gut, and we might overlook victories sometimes. That's life. It happens. But we have the ability to try and take a second to change our attitudes. We can make an effort to appreciate the little things, celebrate the small victories, smile more, find something good or fun in every circumstance.

What if we treated the leaves changing colors around us like the crazy cool phenomenon they are?What if we got excited every time we got to see snow falling down? What if we ran and twirled outside in the rain instead of cursing it for ruining our plans? What if we cherished every hug or smile we got? What if we celebrated when we made it through a tough day? What if we got up and dusted ourselves off after a defeat, and have it renew our determination to succeed? What if we just stopped to appreciate all the great things we have in life?

All I'm saying is if we try to see the world through the eyes of a child, with their wonder and optimism, I guarantee our worlds would all be a little bit brighter.

Leini

I always have music on. Always. It keeps me focused. One of my all time favorite songs is "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline. It's my adoption song.

Adoption is a big part of my family. God blessed me with three incredible and gorgeous nieces by means of adoption., and let me just tell you, they are some of my life's greatest joys. Ever since the concept of adoption was introduced in to my life, I haven't been the same. It stirred up something in my heart. It was something that tugged at a teeny tiny corner of my heart.

Fast forward two years. I'm at this awesome concert with my youth group. There was a presentation about adoptions and a speaker who discussed how it changed his life for the better. The tug got stronger. God whispered to my heart, and in that moment I knew that adoption would be part of my future.

Fast forward to this past September. I was at a Casting Crowns concert when Mark Hall (CC lead singer) started talking about Compassion International, and how it changed his life. Compassion International child sponsorship is something I'd considered and prayed on and off about for a while. But hearing about it this time was different. That tug in my heart grew too strong to ignore. I felt a pull when they were asking for sponsors for children.

What happens next could only be a God thing. I got up and walked toward the Compassion booth. I felt pulled, beyond my control. I (being the frugal college student I am) first checked the price of it. $38 a month. The exact amount I spend on Starbucks or pedicures or something frivolous a month. For that, I could change a life. How selfish would I be to let this opportunity pass by? (In hindsight, I am not proud of myself for checking the price. How could I put a price on a child's life? But God used my ignorance to show me a sign.)

A sweet volunteer handed me a packet before I could request a country or anything. But God knows my heart so well. He had a better plan than I could have ever imagined. I looked at my packet and saw the most beautiful little girl. I was instantly in love with this 5 year old halfway around the world. There were so many little signs that this couldn't be coincidence or fate. I know God planned all along for me to sponsor her, and for us to change each other's lives.

Sponsorship is the most wonderful choice I could've made. I am so blessed by my sweet Leini. I am so grateful for her, and can't wait to see the story God wrote for us unfold. <3

The "Good" Christian Girl

I was that girl. THAT girl. You know the one I'm talking about. The stereotypical church girl. The "good" girl. The "nice" one. The "perfect" one. Never been kissed, never had a sip of alcohol, never partied. The girl your parents wanted you to be friends with during the teen years. The "good influence". The "church-every-Sunday" girl. I knew what to say and when to say it. I hid my problems oh-so-well. I put on the "nothing-can-hurt-this-strong-girl" mask. I played the game, acted the part. I BECAME the part. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I found my identity in my part. I prided myself on being such a good person. Deep down though? I was incredibly insecure. I did the right things for the wrong reasons.

But I'm not who I was. Thank you, Jesus, that I'm not. That I'm not the walking cliche, the illusion, the "holier-than-thou" churchie.

I did things out of pressure and obligation, not out of obedience to God. Not because I wanted to please God, but because I wanted to impress people. I was a servant of two masters. I tried to make my will in to God's. I put my will above God's will. I was selfish. A hypocrite. I was trying to submit part of my heart to God, and keep most of it wild and wandering. I tried to tell myself it was enough. That I was enough. It left me empty inside and exhausted.

But I'm not who I was. Thanks to Jesus, the lover of my soul, the changer of my life, My Redeemer, My Saving Grace. He met me at my darkest place with open arms and abounding love. I am a living testament, His grace truly is amazing. <3

Welcome!

Hey Y'all! I'm so glad you're here! My goal is that this blog will encourage you and inspire you, or at least make you smile. I'm here to be open and honest and transparent, with the desire that my story and walk with Jesus will somehow touch you and help you in your walk or your story! God bless!